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Limiting Beliefs

TURN ‘CAN’T DO’ THINKING IN TO ‘CAN DO’ THINKING

Do you have some ‘Can’t Do’ thinking going on that is stopping you from moving forward or achieving a goal ? If so, it is very straight forward to resolve that and turn it in to ‘Can Do’ thinking with a bit of effort. Here’s how to do it !!

Limiting beliefs – What are they ?

Limiting beliefs are very powerful and they tend to rule us and prevent individuals from moving on and achieving their goals. They are very much the judgement and property of that individual and it is unlikely that anyone else would think the same about that individual or reinforce the belief.
Some examples of limiting beliefs are:

  • I am not good enough
  • I cant get promotion
  • I cant socialise
  • I cant make decisions
  • I cant lead my staff
  • Etc, etc.

Limiting beliefs are held in the sub-conscious and have probably been there for quite a long time and are fairly well entrenched and hard wired in. The way that the communication between the conscious and sub-conscious mind works in relation to the beliefs is such that the sub-conscious will only recognise any events and actions that endorse it. So say for example, an individual’s limiting belief is, ‘I can’t make a decision’. Every time an event occurs where they struggle to make a decision, that action endorses the limiting belief and makes it even more entrenched and stronger. However, if the individual comfortably makes a decision, the sub-conscious will totally ignore that event, not acknowledge it and it passes un- noticed. So the limiting belief is only focussed on events that match the can’t do thinking.

How to get past them !

The solution is to work with positive affirmations, which are also powerful and can free the individual from being held back and empower them to move on and achieve great things. If the individual can re-write the limiting belief in a positive way and in a way that they would like it to be, that becomes the positive affirmation. So in the case of an individual that thinks ‘I can’t make decisions’, a positive affirmation would be ‘Every day, I am learning that I am good at making decisions’. Then this is where some effort from the individual will effect the change. If they repeat to themselves that positive affirmation many times in a day, after a period which is normally two to four weeks, they will have defeated the limiting belief and will have replaced it with the positive affirmation. At that point, they will feel really liberated and no longer held back. I have seen this on many occasions with clients that have then gone on to aim high and reach their goals !

I have my own experience of a limiting belief that was holding me back and I was not that aware of it. In early 2018, I was 56 years old and looking for a new challenge, having sold my main business to the management in 2016, I had a lot of spare time and was beginning to miss that challenge of work. The problem was, I had for some unknown reason convinced myself that I was probably too old to start something new ! I saw an introduction to coaching advertised on facebook and decided to go along for the weekend to explore. I was very aware whilst there, that all of the delegates and coaches were younger than me, clearly reinforcing the belief ! On day 2, we covered limiting beliefs and did a short workshop on our own challenges. I asked for help from one of the coaches and the outcome was a positive affirmation which was ‘Every day, I am learning that I am just the right age for a new opportunity’. I took it away and worked really hard on it for about 3 weeks and at that point the limiting belief had completely disappeared. I felt completely liberated and confident and signed up to do ‘The Personal Performance Diploma’ with The Coaching Academy and haven’t looked back !

A good analogy of how this works is to imagine a field of long grass that is head height. You want to carve a path from one end of the field across to the other. First time through is hard work and takes time and effort to push a way through the grass. Next time through is hard, but a little easier and the next time a little easier again. After several passes, there is now a completely trodden path that is easy to walk across. That will be the same process of changing a limiting belief in to a positive belief, it takes some effort and commitment, but is very achievable.

I hope that you can use this to transform your thinking and if I can be of any help with your journey, please contact me.